Sitting with Big Emotions
I have a confession to make. I try really hard to share light, joy, and peace on all my platforms I want to be a beacon of light for others.
Sometimes being that light worker for others can be hard. If you are a highly sensitive person like me with a big heart and a lot of empathy for others, you’ll get this. And don’t ever let anyone shame you for having empathy.
The world has felt really heavy recently. There is a lot going on in the world and our country. My eyes, ears, and heart have taken in more than it can bear. Plus I got some very sad news recently from a friend. My family is healthy. There is nothing horrible happening in my life. But my heart aches for the pain that I see others experiencing.
I’ve tried to push it down and move along without it affecting me. I had a moment a few days ago in which I realized how much I needed to release. Our bodies and nervous systems are truly not meant to hold so much.
I know this.
I teach this.
And yet, I caught myself doing it.
A friend reminded me to go touch grass, run wild in the woods, scream at the top of my lungs, dance, shake, cry…
Whatever it takes to let some of those big emotions move through.
And so I drank some cacao (plant medicine that opens the heart), listened to some spiritual music…. and the dam broke! I had myself a really solid cry.
How did I feel afterwards? Sad. Just really, really sad. I allowed myself to sit with the sadness instead of trying to push it away. These big feelings are meant to be felt instead of suppressed. We’ve been taught to “move on”, “don’t cry”, “suck it up”, “put on your big girl panties”.
Here’s the thing, suppressing all those big feelings means that over time they just pile up, one on top the other. They stay in your body like toxic sludge. The truth is… IT’S MAKING US SICK!
On that day that the dam broke, I grabbed my phone and captured the moment. I did what I said I would never do… post a video on social media of myself crying. I knew my daughter would cringe when she saw it. Her response? “MOM! Why did you post a video of yourself crying on social media?” To which I asked her to sit and read the caption. Because, I want her to know that it’s appropriate to feel the emotions. I want her to know that she doesn’t have to spend a lifetime suppressing emotion, until it makes her sick too.
When emotions feel overwhelming, the goal is not to make them go away. The goal is to create enough safety in the body for them to move.
Here are a few simple practices that have helped me that you can try the next time the feelings feel heavy.
1. Hand-on-Heart + Belly Breathing
This is one of the simplest ways to signal safety to your nervous system.
Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly.
Inhale slowly through your nose, feeling your belly expand.
Exhale through your mouth with a soft sigh.
Let your shoulders drop as you breathe out.
Stay here for 5 to 10 breaths.
This practice helps you stay present with the emotion without being swallowed by it. You are telling your body, “I am here with you.”
2. Name the Sensation, Not the Story
When emotions are intense, our minds want to explain, analyze, or judge them. Somatic work invites us to come back to the body instead.
Ask yourself: Where do I feel this emotion in my body?
Notice the sensation without labeling it as good or bad.
Is it heavy, tight, warm, fluttery, achy?
Place your breath directly into that area.
You are not trying to change the sensation. You are simply witnessing it with compassion.
3. Gentle Shaking or Swaying
Emotions carry energy. Movement helps release what words cannot.
Stand with your feet hip-width apart.
Begin to gently sway side to side or softly shake your arms and legs.
Let the movement be intuitive and imperfect.
If it feels good, add a deep exhale or a sound.
Animals naturally shake after stress. Your body knows how to do this too.
4. The Butterfly Hug
This is a powerful self-soothing technique when emotions feel intense or tender.
Cross your arms over your chest.
Place each hand on the opposite upper arm.
Slowly alternate tapping right and left.
Breathe slowly as you tap.
This rhythmic movement helps calm the nervous system and offers a sense of containment. It’s like giving yourself permission to be held.
You are entitled to feel what you feel. And if the feelings get too heavy or intense, please, please, please reach out for help. Shine your light! And if it dims, find a friend who can helpl you ignite the spark again!
I love you and I am here feeling all the feels alongside you!
Love & Light,
Sondra
